What would I do if I ever scored?

I had a dream the other night about me scoring an absolute stonker of a goal in a cup final, I awoke before I could celebrate and it got me wondering, what would I do to celebrate?

 

Now, I have never scored a goal in my entire footballing career, which spanned about two years where I got into a team at my primary school. I was a tubby winger who seemed more spherical than slender and was converted into a midfielder before finally being used as some sort of barricade in defence. Has a player ever been successfully converted from a winger to a centre-half like me? I use successfully very loosely. I always used to wonder about what it’d be like to score at the very highest level and even a Saturday morning U16 league. 

Thinking about the mechanics of my celebration used to take up my school days, would it be a planned affair or maybe an off the cuff passionate celebration? I am a huge fan on the Diego Maradona going crazy and screaming at the camera, I’ll keep the passion, just with less drugs…allegedly. If I scored in a cup final for Arsenal, I think there would be a abundance in me screaming, badge kissing and maybe a Thierry Henry-esque knee slide? TiTi’s iconic celebration is now forever more with a statute of Arsenal’s record goal scorer in that position.

I’d love to be immortalised with my celebration, not a stupid hand raise like Alan Shearer or a Gareth Bale love heart, I’d think I’d be a big advocate of the gun fingers, with a jump and a punch to the sky’s before mauling the corner flag leading to a huge bundle. I will have a prop celebration where I pretend to spray everyone with a hose pipe, too. Thinking about it does get me giddy.