The diary off a Sunday League Manager

I say “the joys” but let’s break it down and scrutinise the real life of a Sunday League Manager, forget the movies and last minute triumphs, this is what really happens.

Monday 17.57 – call opposition and arrange the weekend fixture, first polite and seemingly mandatory question “how’s the team going” bearing in mind we are routed to the bottom off the league and lost our last game 8-0, to*ser! But you politely brush it off and continue with the fixture arrangements and 10 minutes off boredom as the idiot brags about how well their team is doing

Tuesday 09.03 – text from parents where is the game Sunday? (advised to wait till Saturday training like everyone else)

Tuesday 09.07 – 2nd text from pushy ungrateful parent, stating it’s important as they have a day out planned, another hindrance and interruption to your day

Wednesday 20.16 – chairman calls, we are fined for not completing the subs form correctly…cheers

Thursday 19.20 – monthly meeting with other club managers is running late, the stale stench off this shi*ty pub is driving me mental

Thursday 20.30 – pointless meeting finally ends, more fines owed…great

Friday 21.00 – ref has cancelled at the 9th hour on a Friday night, frantically calling around to find a ref, surprisingly everyone is out enjoys their lives 

Friday 21.35 – great got hold of “Mr Rule Book” the idiot has never heard of an advantage and using his whistle, but he will do

Saturday 09.10 – training should have started, delay due to a parents moaning about their son being sub

Saturday 09.17 – training starts 17 mins late, kids half a sleep, the other half are missing as they cant be bothered, parents still moaning and I can now not be bothered

Saturday 12.30 – text received from child’s parent reads “is Jason playing tomorrow” really?!

Saturday 18.00 –  night out arranged last minute

Sunday 03.45 – sh*t state, arrived back from wedding at a ridiculous hour, need to be at the ground in 5 hours. Jesus

Sunday 9.15 – arrive early to put up nets, no help from parents

Sunday 10.09 – 9 mins in and we are 3 down

Sunday 10.45 – raining, yet another shocking decision from the ref and 7-1 down at half time

Sunday 11.47 – game over lost, 11-2

Sunday 12.01 – match of the match handed out, parents leave, no help taking down the nets. Time for one last moan from a parent

Sunday 12.36 – arrive home, cold, disappointed and moaning to the misses

So an exhausting week with unappreciated kids, unappreciative parents and a record as laughable as England claims off winning the World Cup. So if you are considering becoming a Sunday League Manager, don’t!

On behalf of managers everywhere.