I hate football, I hate football!

I hate football, I hate football!

I was expecting us to get beat but blimey we are finding different ways to lose games…

I get scared watching horror films. I remember watching Nightmare on Elm Street behind my sofa, too scared to look. I remember looking in the mirror trying to see if I was brave enough to say “Candyman” five times to see if it really does come to life, but stopping after three just in case. But, nothing prepares you for the fear of watching me beloved Arsenal defend!

I am a fan of Sagna and think he is the best right-back in the league, and I’m obviously sad to hear that he has broken his leg, but he really was right back (right back on the halfway line) when Bale went passed him all through Sunday’s game.

I don’t care that Van der Vaart plucked the ball out of the air like Michael Jordan to control it, the ball shouldn’t have reached him in the first place. Then, at some point during the game (I forget exactly when but it’s a rare memory), the ball bounced and our centre halves waited to see what the other one was going to do before deciding that someone should deal with it – by which time Bale almost scored.

Their second goal was even worse! No one going near either the players or the ball, and even though many have said our keeper should have saved it, which he should have, I thought it was a great shot with that iffy swerve at the end. Anyway Scz kept us in the game for the majority of it.

Our goal was the only thing Ramsey did well all game! I thought he, along with about another eight, had a shocker! And why wasn’t Oxlade-Chamberlain at least on the bench? Answers on a postcard please.

Wenger after the game thought we defended well and got better as the game went on… All I can say to that is that I am lucky I’m bald, because otherwise I would be pulling hair out! He has become totally clueless regarding our defending. He has signed good defenders yet put them in an Arsenal shirt and they totally forget what to do.

“Hello… coaching and organisation please!”

Everyone says that bringing in a defensive coach will fix things. Behave! This isn’t America and we aren’t the Arsenal Anteaters or whatever stupid American football name we would be, (by the way, how come in American football and baseball you can be world champions without playing anyone from anywhere else in the world? Don’t get me started on that…). For me, a defensive coach is not the answer, a whole new backroom staff and manager… Now we’re talking!

So we are out of the championship, our chances for a trophy are slim, and we really have only the two domestic cups to go for. The only chance of Arsenal getting into Europe next year is either via the emergence of World War III, or by signing up with The Sun’s holidays for £9.50 and relaxing in Bangor for a week.

WTTGT Writer: Dean “is it safe to look yet” Scott