A lesson in football attire

Now, I’m not one to brag, well, actually I am, so I’ve been up and down this week telling anybody and everybody who has had the misfortune of running into me that I predicted that Birmingham would overcome Arsenal in Sunday’s Carling Cup final. However, just in case I’ve missed any of you this week, I’m going to take the chance to renew my bragging right now, so listen up!

OK, first up, I’m letting you in on a trade secret here by telling you just how I managed to predict such a ‘massive’ upset and earn myself a few quid. So you have to swear to keep it a secret OK! We can’t have Ladbrokes getting a whiff of our betting secrets!

Now come closer, I have to whisper, this is top secret stuff don’t you know! Right, here goes, my secret is – I looked at what the managers were wearing! Honestly, it worked a treat! And I’ll tell you how but first you’ll have to hear me out folks, because here comes the clever science stuff!

Those knowledgeable sports scientist people down at the University of Portsmouth told us last week that the football managers who wear suits on match days have a distinct advantage over those who wear tracksuits or other attire on the touchlines. According to their research, manager’s that don suits are ‘more successful’ and seen as ‘more competent’ than those who do not.

Ahh, but Arsene Wenger was wearing a suit on Sunday I hear you cry! Well observed you lot, but there’s a catch, you will remember that professeur Wenger was spotted donning his Arsenal coat over his suit! A cardinal sin for a football manager seeking to get the best out of his players on match day, says the University of Portsmouth.

You see, it’s the little things you have to watch out for! This football lark is a game of fine margins! Nothing like the ‘little Birmingham’ vs. ‘mighty Arsenal’ lark that the media was spouting! This game was more ‘mighty’ suit jacket vs. ‘inadequate’ coat jacket!

Wilshire looks across to see his manager’s attire error

So remember if you’re at a football match anytime soon and you see your manager wearing a dog eared, muddy tracksuit, you march right over and tell him to go change and stop being so uninspiring!

Anyway, that concludes today’s lesson you lot. Remember, stay in school! Or preferably, go to the University of Portsmouth – they teach you valuable stuff!

Michael Smith

Twitter: http://twitter.com/Mr_MichaelSmith

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