Titus Bramble – the Cult Figure now at West Ham

Titus, Titus give us a wave. The bumbling centre half will today make his pre-season debut with his temporary club West Ham in a friendly against Cork. Although on trial with the club, he will start the game at the heart of the defence, big news, I know, but let’s admit it’s been a slow few days on the footballing news front, so just like many others have in their hour of need I’ve turned to Titus’ cash cow of an enigma to fund my informative article.

Recently being released from Paolo Di Canio’s Sunderland, Bramble experienced a short and tempestuous relationship with the Italian, who is taking it upon himself to reign in the pretty playboys of Sunderland, like there was of those sorts up there anyway. The hard lines Di Canio introduced didn’t sit well with Bramble, so he’s upped and left, made his way down the country to try and win the heart of Big Sam.

Still only 31 years of age, he would be psyching himself up and telling himself in soft, subtle tones he has two or three more years in the Premier League. Well hopefully. On comical value alone he should merit a contract for any team, but playing wise maybe not so much. So whether or not he does manage to impress at West Ham and manages to slip seamlessly, words never used to describe Bramble before, and avoid making a right Toby out of himself over pre-season, is solely on Bramble’s own head. Good luck to him regardless.

By Michael King     

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