Good Cop, Bad Cop: Advice For Roy Keane And Martin O’Neill Ahead Of Taking Over Ireland

All the talk this week has been about the impending appointment of the “dream team” of Martin O’Neill as the manager and Roy Keane as the assistant manager of the Republic of Ireland national team.

There have been many great double acts down through the years such as Abbott and Costello, Laurel and Hardy, Batman and Robin, and Clough and Taylor. Will MONARK  (Martin O’Neill and Roy Keane) be able to live up to their billing?

So how exactly will this arrangement of two very contrasting styles work? Perhaps it will be a simple case of good cop, bad cop with Keane adopting the role of bad cop, getting in the players faces and instilling fear on the training pitch, with the good cop O’Neill swooping in to restore a sense of peace and serenity and offering players a shoulder to cry on.

There is huge expectation that this partnership will automatically lead to success and the Irish team playing attractive attacking football. This may be the case, but here are a few things little helpful ideas that could help make this a reality!

Top tips for O’Neill

  • Make sure everyone knows who the boss is, but emphasise how important a role Keane will play
  • Don’t mention Saipan or Sir Alex Ferguson
  • Play at least two up front (4-4-2 or 4-4-1-1 or similar formation)
  • Always select Andy Reid and James McCarthy ahead of Glenn Whelan and Paul Green
  • Turn up to watch the players at their respective clubs
  • Give some kind of team talk before, during and after the game

Top tips for Keane

  • Don’t mention John Robertson
  • Stay fifty metres away from FAI Chief Executive John Delaney at all times
  • Enrol in an anger management course
  • Smile and have a pleasant chat with the media before and after games
  • Remember he is the assistant manager and not the gaffer

Only time will tell if this turns out to be the most successful period in Irish football since the Jack Charlton era. One thing is for sure there will never be a dull moment with MONARK side by side.